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Broken dove:please read?
Broken dove/without love/crys at night/wishing for light/but pushed in night/it want's to fly/oh but he lies/tells her if she dare takes off in flight/she'll be incased in an icy lake /it's stuck in his lair/but it shall try/to fly/to feel the night air push by/it with all it's might/pushes and flaps/but feels a sharp slap/it looks at it's master/he looks at his love/ and kindly saids "you my dear are my broken dove" ////////////////////////////yea this sucks but what do you think the ending seems a bit rushed it sorry if there is any mispelld words and the placement is messed up:/
My feeling is that the beginning is promising but as you say the ending drifts in nothing. You have the start of a poem here but it needs work. I sometimes do five or six or more drafts to get a poem into shape and then sometimes I will still come back to make changes. So don't let this one slip, re-write it and also look at the spelling as this can sometimes make or break a piece of writing whether it is prose or poetry.
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